K.Charm A & D

Time Marching

2008-03-25T20:00:00.000-07:00

It's strange how quickly time passes...in large clumps almost. Sometimes, if I hold my breath, I can almost count the hours passing. It used to be only minutes before...LOL.

Photography

2007-11-30T16:48:00.000-08:00

Sarah Jane Semrad, the curator of my art show in Dallas did a show where she photographed artists with their work. Here's my "portrait."

Pondering a New Body of Work

2007-11-27T12:15:00.000-08:00

It's that once a year urge to create a large body of new work that I feel rumbling inside me lately. But, the idea, the concept for it has been working it's way up to the surface for some time now.

I started to think about the five planes of a square room (i.e. the ceiling, floor and four walls) and how a linear object might navigate itself through the planes. I want to explore those intersections.

Here's a couple of preliminary sketches.

Process, Intent and Art

2007-06-22T10:49:00.000-07:00

In my work, process has always been about learning the tools to make art. By tools, I mean the skills to work the materials and the way to achieve certain visual goals. A lot of artists get waylaid by process because it's easy to get caught up in its complexities. In ceramics the complex glaze formulations or the temperature that a piece needs to be fired to achieve a certain finish. Art-making is a vulnerable process and artists often focus on the less frightening discussions of how to make art rather than actually making art.

The other pitfall artists fall into is one that an art educations often creates. It's the insecurity that one's art might be labeled as being insubstantial or meaningless. Art teachers are always asking, "what was your intent?" However, this question is only valid in the context where it shows what you were trying to do, and if you actually tried hard enough to achieve it. It's more of an exercise in trying to elucidate just how much work you did to get there, not whether your work has artistic merit (though that's entirely subjective as well).

I've encountered art without rational or articulate intent that was explosively brilliant. What I mean by that is, when you ask the artist what they were thinking, what their rationale was when they were making the piece, you can't get a definite answer from them. And, even if you did, you might realize that the explorations and decisions they made as they were making the art was not driven by a conscious, linear thought process but a reactive one. Sometimes, you discover that they were simply seduced by forms and color. Intent doesn't have to be mind-blowing. Simple ideas are often profound.

Forms that captivate me are sensuous, voluptuous, erotic and express tensions - between curves and hard edges. Holes, divisions, intersections. I like objects that could be several different things at the same time - that ambiguous line between; the liminal space. I'm fascinated by the temporal aspect of objects in that each represents a snapshot of a moment in time. I often do work in triptychs to exemplify an idea or to capture a time range.

A caveat to intent is that - if too belaboured - becomes a restraint. In my process, often a form exploration starts off as a sketch. Sometimes I'll wake up in the morning and a shape pops into my head. I sleepily put it down. And, eventually, begin to explore what it might look like from all sides. But, when I actually start working on the idea in clay, the form evolves on it's own. It changes and begins to define itself - often quite differently from where it started from. Intent is subject to intuition.

I'm not a political artist or someone trying to express the pain in the world. I don't want someone to "place" me within the continuum of artmaking as a "post modern" artist. Meaning for me, has more to do with how people respond - viscerally - to my pieces and whether my ideas - however simple they are - find resolution and connection.

Show

2006-12-11T11:48:00.000-08:00

The show looked great. I had an incredible response from people who really seemed to get what I was trying to do. Of course, I'm completely wiped out and weary from it. They say pictures speak a thousand words, and since I can't garner enough strength to write about it, here's pictures to speak for me.

The Kiln Goddess

2006-12-04T11:18:00.001-08:00

Up atop the gas kiln at the ceramics co-op is a voluptuous Venus or Gaia Earth Mother statuette. She's actually the kiln goddess who reigns over all firings. In the end, the success of a firing is akin to whether we've adequately appeased the goddess - full of uncertainty. This is because the ways in which clay fires varies so much that only a scientist (or someone about as anal) could regulate it at all - and certainly with any success. My stuff (the objects in the earlier photos) are being fired today. I encourage all to offer up their firstborn for the success of my firing...

Cold Nights

2006-12-01T11:22:00.000-08:00

It feels like things are winding down - that feeling you get as the year draws to a close. It's also the coolness in the air and how unexpected it is when it encroaches on you - the fact that weather can be oppressive is such a surprise in Southern California. We're so pampered that we cry foul when it gets just a bit too hot or cold.

I pulled out my down comforter from storage a few nights ago. It had that smell of stale air. I ran around all summer without a care - getting myself into trouble all over the place; like a kid sticking fingers into many pies; too busy to be bothered. But, as the weather suddenly changed and the nightly ritual of shedding my clothes and crawling into an arctic bed - a stark reminder of something I'd rather not think about.

Being discerning has it's drawbacks. But, that's probably just more a result of getting older than anything else - the wisdom that age and experience brings. There is a qualified difference. Once you start sliding down that slippery slope of losing respect for someone, even love can't hold it together. Finding someone I can truly respect - that limits the choices considerably.

Creative Enterprise 2007

2006-11-29T10:36:00.000-08:00

I started a high-end, decorative accessories (tabletop, vases, decor) biz last year in Dallas that was cut short by my decision to move back to Los Angeles. Dallas is a good place to start a business because cost of living is lower and there's a fair amount of people who are interested in good things. The downside is that they are often interested in kitsch. If you don't mind making your money doing faux finished, antique reproductions, then you'll be okay.

My work got the attention of the local fashion rag, Papercity as well as being carried by Urban Flower/Grange Hall, an upscale boutique florist and decor shop in trendy Knox-Henderson. They carried a few pieces which included a "Pod" Vase, decorative chartreuse acorns and a hanging installation called,"Wall Koi" (That's me holding my niece).

I'm fully aware that my greatest challenge is that I don't work well alone. But, finding the right business partner - that's someone I don't even know how to begin looking for. Is there such thing as a directory for people seeking creative collaboration on new business ventures? I certainly have the pedigree and experience, but where to find someone who can complement my skills?

Anyway, that's certainly one goal for 2007.

New Work

2006-11-27T12:56:00.000-08:00

Here's some new work that's slated (cross your fingers) for the show December 9th. If it survives the kiln, it will end up white with some markings and a wax finish.

Form Obsessions

2006-11-22T15:14:00.000-08:00

I've been playing with these forms lately that I can't stop thinking about. One is a tube form that has wedges cut out of it at specific intervals. Another, is an abstracted, long bone form. Bones and tubes, hmm....I wonder what Freud would say.

Cracked Cuticles

2006-11-21T11:58:00.000-08:00

I just looked at my fingers and noticed the tell-tale signs of hands that have been playing with clay. No, these aren't salesmans' hands, they're sculptors.' I spent the greater part of the weekend in my ceramic studio - it's actually a co-op in Culver City called Echo Ceramics. I found it on the internet and got in touch with the two owners Ki and Yuliya. Ki is a Korean-American ceramicist who, with his Russian wife Yuliya, run a very successful ceramic co-op in Culver City. As those places go, it's more of a town center, of sorts, than simply a place where people make things. A lot of the people met years ago in another space and continued in this one, and it has the feel of a place where you can meet someone from any demographic and connect.

There's a lot of rich, older women with strong personalities, one in particular who showed up last Saturday morning and asserted her right as the resident house marm by bossing everyone around. It was particularly funny because she hadn't been there for eight months prior but has been renting one of the two private spaces upstairs since the inception of the space. She saw me working and lit straight into me about taking over the table - all in stern jest of course, but with the panache of a woman who can say such things to a younger male stranger. She asked me petulantly,"So what are you making?!" I answered, with equal panache, "Stuff." Then Ki chimed in, "Yes, but expensive stuff." I told her about my show and she seemed to be interested. Later, when I found out that she rented the private studio upstairs, I asked her if I could use her space and she said yes. Score! Yeah, it pays to flirt with older women. They love the attention. Well, now I have my own studio - finally.

Sudden Twists and Turns

2006-11-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

My sister called me at work last night and informed me that my mother had fallen and was on her way to the emergency room. It appeared that she'd fractured her hip, but nothing was absolutely certain.

When I got to the emergency room at California Hospital (I never even knew the place existed), the place was strewn with the bodies of patients and the staff seemed like a slow-moving dinosaur. My mother was in one of the bays and I went up to a female asian nurse and politely asked if she knew about my mother's condition. After verifying my mother's name, the woman looked me in the eye and said, "You're Korean and I'm Korean, so I'm going to help you." And, she proceeded to expedite the process for her to be x-rayed, blood tested, and given pain medication. When she went into see her, she said immediately from looking at her leg, "I can just tell that she's fractured her leg from the fact that it's rotated outwards. She's going to need surgery." She then proceeded to arrange for pre-op blood tests and to introduce me to the orthopedic doctor on staff. What was so amazing about this was that it was her birthday and she stayed an extra hour and a half after her shift to make sure that my mother was alright. It felt like God was looking out for my mother.

Art Show

2006-11-13T13:06:00.000-08:00

I've been invited to be in a three-person group exhibition in Palm Springs that goes from December 8th - January 9th. The show opens Saturday, December 9th, from 7-11 pm at Janssen Art Space, 333 S. Indian Canyon Drive, Palm Springs, CA.

The funniest thing was how I even got invited to do the show. I was in MJ's one night and overheard one of the bartenders giving someone a postcard saying, "yeah, I just opened a gallery in Palm Springs...." And, being the curious person that I am, I told him that I was an artist. One thing led to the next and he mentioned that he'd like to do a show in December and have my sculpture included. Basically, it consists of one sculptor, painter and photographer - my work being the sculpture.

The thing with galleries, as they go, is that most fail in a year. They are famously failed enterprises because art's value is so subjective. Think: Thomas Kincade. His stuff is basically worthless now, but the kind of money people poured into it was phenomenal. And, when someone tells you they've opened a gallery, you can't be sure if its someone's collection of folk art crammed into a small space off, off Broadway or a legitimate venture that actually caters to art collectors and patrons - you can never be certain. Some artists think that any exposure is good exposure, but I'm not of that ilk.

As fortune would have it, I discovered that Steven Janssen is being collected by serious clientele. I also discovered that his partner, Stephen Huvane, is an A-list publicist with the likes of Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Gwyneth Paltrow and Helen Hunt. The gallery is smack dab in the middle of downtown Palm Springs. Hmm...I think the stars are alligned properly.

My intuition tells me that it's going to be a fun party, and hopefully I'll be selling some art!

The Art Conspiracy

2006-11-10T10:34:00.000-08:00

In December of last year, I took part in something called "The Art Conspiracy" that was started by a woman named Sarah Jane Semrad in Dallas. She was actually the curator of my art show in 2004. Sarah Jane is one of those strikingly beautiful, brilliant, engaging and capable people who can bring motivate and inspire people to come together for a cause. In one word, she IS the party. Her husband, Paul Semrad, was a rockstar and member of a band called "Course of Empire" and is a central figure in the Dallas music scene. Together, they form a formiddable team.

I met Sarah gallery hopping one night in Deep Ellum. It was only the second day of her first art show in the IR Gallery. IR Gallery was an experimental space both in terms of it's function and objective. I can't even begin to describe what "IR" stands for except that the words are "integration research." It was Daniel Miller's (Sarah's biz partner) desire to find a way to create a virtual space that integrated a person's ability to network across functions - the gallery being one aspect of that integration. Anyway, the space was perfect for the scale of my pieces, and was a smashing success. I connected with Sarah on so many levels and we've been fast friends ever since.

She invited me (along with hundreds of artists) to take part in something dubbed the Art Conspiracy where we basically went down to a cultural landmark in Dallas and made art that would be sold the following day with a beginning price of $20. It brought together musicians, budding art collectors, aspiring and established artists and musical numbers. The event raised publicity for the landmark and raised money for a chosen charity.

Anyway, she's doing it again this year.

In Itaewon

2006-09-29T17:25:00.001-07:00

I got in without a hitch, though, strangely, I was somehow afraid--I don't know why. I had reservations about calling my dad's family, mostly because his sister, my aunt re-married this apparent hunchback of sorts. It's a long story that nobody seems to want to tell, or rushes past in hurried tones. The few times I've talked to that aunt, I could hear the resignation in her voice. It's such a tentative voice, so unlike my own mother's.

But, when I actually landed, I felt this incredible sense of urgency and force of nature within myself to call them and connect. It was almost a pulling or stretching feeling inside me that demanded that I call them. My aunt answered the phone with a tired sound. She sounded neither happy nor sad to know that I was in town. I simply told her that I was staying in Seoul and could probably see her the last day I'm here.

My mom told me horror stories about the hunchback husband and aunt running about Inchon healing people with their laying down of hands. Something about that whole story sends chills down my spine and I don't know how to approach them. I think it's also something to do with the fact that my father rarely talked about his sister or family to us as children. He was, basically, given away by his own mother to live with his paternal grandparents until he was 13 years old, at which point, they both died. He always said that he felt like an orphan living with his own parents. I'm sure that had a lot to do with why we came to America and really never went back. There was no real connection between him and his mother. It was a formal relationship, but not a loving one. I think he feels a great deal of regret but doesn't necessarily know how to work it out in his heart. It's simply easier to just go on with his life then looking back or being faced with that reality. Though, I also think that poverty has a way of making people insular and self-focused - there's so little energy left for anyone else.

My dad escaped that particular mindset on his own by working his way through college and meeting the people who would eventually introduce him to my mother. She firmly moved him out of the life he had known and certainly their closed, small-town mindset. Moving to America cinched the deal, and I was never exposed to that life at all. In a way, I sense that meeting my aunt is going show me just what he escaped, and I feel a measure of dread as well as interest.

I'm meeting my mother's Paternal (Yi) cousins tonight. Uncle Kyu Mok is coming to pick me up around 4:30 p.m. and I am going to meet them at his house. I'm looking forward to it. It should be interesting to say the least.

Tomorrow, at 11:00 a.m. I'm meeting my mother's maternal (Pak) cousins for lunch.

More to follow....

Returning "Home" for the First Time

2006-09-28T13:46:00.000-07:00

I'm going home. Well, it's a strange, exciting, turbulent sensation this going to back to the country I was born in but never really explored till now. I'm going to Seoul and meeting with extended relatives on both sides of my family. I don't know what to expect, but whatever the case is, I'm looking forward to it.

Through my uncle Mani in Colorado, I've contacted several of his first cousins on both sides. I'm meeting my mother's paternal cousins on Saturday and her maternal cousins on Sunday. It should be interesting.

I also got my father's sister's number and will be calling some people on his side as well. I'm sure my next blog will be chock full of interesting stories. Stay tuned...

Wearing Pants that Fit

2006-09-21T12:23:00.000-07:00

I pulled out a pair black, pin-striped, worsted wool pants from my closet today. I hadn't worn it in years. The pants are lined and as I put them on, I could feel the silky rayon cozy up my legs. I expected to have to suck my gut in, but I discovered that I'm back to that size again. What a relief. I wish I could think of a fitting metaphor as it applies to my life, but my mind draws a blank.

Summer 2006

2006-09-20T13:44:00.000-07:00

Flush upon my face,
Locked in frantic embrace,
An eternity and a moment,
Flash in one place.

The depth inside we explored,
Seeking solace in those days,
The "us" that I adore.

And leave behind,
Forevermore.

Long Island Weekend August 21

2006-08-30T14:48:00.000-07:00

I often forget that I even have a blogspot until someone randomly tells me that they've read my latest posting. Usually, it happens in half-yearly intervals. Fortunately, someone was kind enough to remind me to post something sooner.

My best friend was supposed to get married this past weekend, but it was called off. I think we all believe that it was for the better. He seemed okay with it, but that could also have been his mask- he is the son of a very accomplished diplomat.

In any case, those who hadn't been able to cancel their tickets, some from Geneva and myself from L.A., decided to go ahead and fly out for the weekend. My friend was in good spirits. We spent Saturday morking at Gurney's Spa at the tip of Long Island. It was such a great deal...$20 for a series of steam, sauna and "Swiss showers" (pressurized ice cold water blasting you from all directions) between the sweltering heat. You leave feeling exhilirated.

Through another friend who is very well-connection in the Hamptons, we went to the last polo match of the season at the Bridgehampton Polo Club. A good time was had by all.

Mid-August in Los Angeles

2006-08-18T13:50:00.000-07:00

Time speeds by. My life seems to be a connected series of emotional waves - each cresting and then breaking at regular intervals. Strong emotions...long dissipated into the flotsam and jetsam.

It's warm today. They are changing the thermostats in the office and a sudden rise in temperature is making me very uncomfortable. Global warming, maybe? I went to see Al Gore's movie. As one critic put it, "You never knew how a graph could be so scary." I agree - watching Al navigate that hydraulic lift four stories above the stage to make a point about how off the chart CO2 levels are.

I was in Mainland China recently visiting all our vendors. Other than being insanely hot, I got stuck in the typhoon that struck Hong Kong on my way out of HK International. The next day, with beads of sweat forming on her upper lip, the EVA airlines ticket agent frantically tried to find me a trip out to Los Angeles. The airport, strewn with the bodies of exhausted travellers lying in all conceivable places. It looked like a war zone. And, for a moment, it seemed like I was going to be stuck there for days. Then she pulled the rabbit out of a hat and found me a flight through Inchon. The one caveat being that because it was on another airline, if I missed my connection in Inchon, I would be on my own. Crossing my fingers, I got onto the flight.

Landing in Inchon, a Korean flight attendant with EVA met me at the gate to help me to my next flight. I had a funny sensation standing on Korean soil, for the first time since I left at age two. And, it only happened by mistake! Growing up in a asian-dominant culture like Los Angeles, one might sometimes ignore the reality that being asian in America is a minority. But, one never truly forgets. It makes me want to explore that feeling a bit more. I think I might find meaning in such an exploration.

Dancing in the wet rain....

2006-03-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

Why does rain always make one feel more....poetic? Is it the damp cool air? Is it simply the ambient light that refuses to create harsh shadows? Maybe, it's the fact that the world as we know it - blue skies and sunshine - shifts into something less familiar. Change. I turn 36 tomorrow, yikes!

Time is a twisted handmaiden.
She smiles at you,
Then turns away to laugh.

My saving grace, is that I was genetically gifted with youthful genes and most people think I'm 26. I don't feel a day over 25 and I guess it's as the Bible says, "He has put eternity in their hearts." We live like we are going to live forever, and only our ageing bodies and times ravages forces us to face the fact that we are mortal.

Back in Los Angeles

2006-02-14T11:08:00.000-08:00

I grew up in LA. and have been away, substantially, for about fifteen years. It's definitely been an interesting journey - my life. I'm nearing my 36th birthday and though I wouldn't give the hard-earned inner peace and self-confidence away, in some ways I still haven't figured out where my life is supposed to go. For me the struggle boils down to a Biblical concept "flesh versus spirit." In some ways, this last comment basically negates the former comment about inner peace, but I'm speaking in relative terms. I've discovered a level of peace that allows me live my life without sleepless nights and undue stress, but in the end, the questions I have about my deepest and most inner questions still have gone unanswered. These are the types of questions that I remember when in that liminal state between sleep and wake, each morning - the most vulnerable and lucid moments when my brain is uncluttered with concerns and desires. At those moments, I know the answer to those questions and feel a sudden resolve that slowly evaporates as the day proceeds.

Thanksgiving, et al

2004-11-24T16:09:00.000-08:00

I don't mind Thanksgiving, it's Christmas I can't stand. Actually, it's the time of year after Thanksgiving when the world goes mad. Everyone I know starts feeling guilty - guilty for not caring enough, guilty for not buying the "right" gift and guilty for not being a good enough father, mother, child or friend.

Then there's this whole unrealistic "jolly" quality that seems to overwhelm everyone. I just say, "ick, ick, ick." I would be happy just to crawl into a hole and hibernate until January 10 when everyone snaps out of their ridiculous yearly cheer and gets on with business; on with life.

IR Gallery - Sculpture Show

2004-11-23T14:20:00.000-08:00

I just had my first art show this past Friday at IR Gallery in Dallas. It was definitely a milestone in my life. More than anything, though, the people that came to my show were the best people I know. It was validating for me to be surrounded by such quality and sincerity.

Some of the exciting people that showed up were Pili and her husband Richard. I met Pili and Richard in Providence when I was studying at the Rhode Island School of Design. Pili and Richard were at Brown and we met through a mutual friend, Curt Hall. About a month before I even knew that I was moving to Dallas, Pili and Richard had accepted teaching positions in Dallas. And, for some reason, I'd gotten it into my head that they were teaching at the University of Dallas. When I got to Dallas, I looked them up at every university in town, except the one they were at, which was Southern Methodist University.

Two years later, I was dining with a friend at a local pub and saw a woman that looked just like Pili at a table near me. There was a whole group of people at the table and I felt too self-conscious about getting up and asking her if she was who I thought she was. After downing a couple of beers, I got up and leaned over several people to ask her if she was Pili. It was! Of course we were so excited to finally be connected again.

What was even more interesting is that both she and Richard had seen me at least twice before in social settings but when Pili thought about asking me if I was who she thought I was, Richard had said, "Why would John be in Dallas?" to which Pili could not see any reason why and desisted.

We discovered that we live about five blocks from each other. How wild is that? Anyway, both Richard and Pili and a whole group of friends came to my show. It was so nice to have them there.

I sold two pieces at my show. A piece called "Beans" which is a series of seven balls in a row. The other piece is called "Chickpea." Altogether, I sold $1,250 worth of art on the first night. Not bad, eh?

One of the nicest things that happened to me was when Nicholas Villalba lent me this ROCK STAR shirt to wear to the event. His studio (which is moving to Hi Line, btw) is just two doors down from IR Gallery. When I was setting up the show, I decided to stop by and invite him. We chatted for a few minutes and he asked me, "What are you wearing for the show?" I said that I hadn't decided. He then says, "Do you want to borrow a shirt?"and shows me a rack of shirts that are one-of-a-kind. The shirt I picked out and eventually wore was a black long sleeve with graphic fabric on the collar and cuffs. A rhinestone was sewn into the center of the shirts details and buttons. Nicholas, you ROCK!

About a hundred and fifty people showed up over two hours. The nicest thing was that they just stayed and talked the whole time. I've been to enough openings to know that what often happens is that people come, drink a glass of wine and then just move on. My opening really felt like a great party.

Thank you everyone who came! Lennie and Susan, Pili and Richard, my "back up plan" Iren, Jo Tiller, Chaz, the Torrefazione crowd, RISD alumni, Manali and her Fossil bunch.